How to Not Kill Mr. Perfect

Nowadays, we believe that we deserve it all. Anywhere you look, the sky is the limit and success is only a matter of getting up and trying again. Still, we feel that we deserve what we want now, and the process should be better, faster, and easier. We’re under constant pressure to own expensive toys, an exceptional look, a perfect body, to have our dream job and ideal love life. This attitude of deserving only the best is a curse to our population, not just an individual feature as I initially thought. In such a fast-paced world, it’s easy to become confused, to demand the supreme of every facet of our lives, to expect pure happiness, and to be unable to decrease our own demands without becoming frustrated.

But when talking about love, is it really a matter of having it all? As someone who is naturally demanding, I expect a lot from myself and those close to me. I have to admit that it truly is a pain in the ass, and I sometimes feel annoyed by myself, but it is what it is. I need to learn to deal with it, and in the meantime, try not to lose the people who are worth being kept. I am admitting that, from the perspective of a woman with a very analytical brain, I was looking for the secret recipe for a great relationship with the perfect life partner. I tested quite a few, but my conclusions were always a bit blurry. I ended up with the understanding of what I don’t want, but still not a clue of how Mr. Perfect looks. And here starts our trap, where we put a huge pressure on ourselves to meet this guy from our dreams.

Demanding an ideal husband seems as natural as the social pressure of having the latest iPhone, a collection of trendy clothes, the newest shoes, a super-fast car, or a clever self-cleaning hoover. We all want a man who we can call our best friend, someone with whom we can share our deepest secrets. Someone who will challenge us mentally with never-ending contemplation about life ad our place on Earth. At the same time, we expect a faithful lover with a romantic soul. A man who helps at home, who can cook and knows how to iron. An open minded person who will never feel jealous and will love us unconditionally. We want someone who shares our passions and a constant fire between each other… But what happens when we don’t get it all?

The most common solution for this kind of “issue” is to find a new model. We all know how unsatisfying life can feel when we’re denied the newest version of something, or at least an upgrade with fixes to all the problems. Let’s be honest, when that happens, we complain and start to feel disappointed. In fact, I sometimes feel betrayed, as if I had earned the right to have only the best in my life. So perhaps it’s not a matter of being unable to find this Mr. Perfect. Maybe he is somewhere out there, like a diamond without blemishes, although we never found him.

The truth is that building a good relationship means focusing on only the things from the list which are most important, and if your man has them, stop bothering yourself with the unfulfilled points that won’t really bring you happiness. Imperfections exist in everyone and everything on Earth, no matter how carefully crafted, and you’ll only find happiness when you stop looking for something better and realize you’re perfectly happy now. I know how difficult that can be to keep in mind, especially in a society that constantly tries to convince us that we need to have the very best right away, but don’t break your own diamond in the name of chasing one that only might exist, and only might be better.


Source of image:

Great thanks to Ellielove for proofreading


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