Competition in the Relationship

Between love, wild sex, and household duties, is there a place in a relationship for professional competition?

From a very ambitious woman’s perspective, I’d honestly never thought about that until a conversation I had with my boyfriend. He was worried that working from home, trying to develop my own start-up, and – let’s be honest – facing frustration over melting savings and a lack of income would lead me to feeling worse than my “more successful” man.

The truth is, the competition women face in the real world simply isn’t present in private life. In business, I am a ball-crusher, but at home, I don’t need to prove my status financially nor professionally. Still, on the other hand, our world expects men to be successful, to earn more than us, because in the opposite situation we may feel that we’ve settled with a loser. I was once in a relationship where I was earning more than him and, at the same time, was soaring in my academics, getting science scholarships and gaining recognition. Meanwhile, he was really good at cooking and taking care of the house (which just isn’t for me). A man has to be strong when he deals with a self-confident, independent woman, because if he’s not, a lack of respect can start to develop between partners. I’m not saying that women should stay in the kitchen as servants, but I do want to highlight that women with ‘balls’ have to be with men who can handle it.

But coming back to the actual situation: When I have no income and spend the whole day at home on the sofa-office or in my workshop, do I feel like I’m not up to par?

Not at all! First, having high self-esteem and knowing what I’ve achieved in my life is a strong argument. Why should I feel bad when I graduated with the highest marks in my graduating class, or when I’ve been on my own since I turned 18? Why shouldn’t I celebrate the face that I’m crafting jewellery that will last even after I’m no longer on this Earth? I’m a woman in a society where I can be whoever and whatever I want to be. I can deal, negotiate, and even use beauty to raise myself through the ranks. Maybe I’m not yet earning as much as my man, but this is only a temporary situation, a transitional period which will turning into living the dream and making money from it.

In my case, I’m happy that my partner is achieving something and that he’s starting to be recognized on an international level because, quite simply, he’s fucking good in his field. It makes me proud, not envious, because my dream for my success is situated in a different place. I would never be happy in a corporation like he is, although he’s still a very independent person and that’s great. Even though he travels a lot, having thousands of experiences and a long list of countries he’s visited, there’s no place that makes me feel bad. I’m proud of myself even when I’m working in a robe like I’m doing at this very moment. I love myself and my life, and I’m working hard to make it even better. Soon enough, I’ll be going against the real competition out there – those who are geniuses at crafting creative jewellery and selling it – and I have no doubt that both my boyfriend and I will find our own success.


Source of image:

Great thanks to Ellielove for proofreading


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